I don’t think we can ever repay people for favors. The desire to compensate people for granted favors is noble, but fails in at least three ways.

First, favors cannot be earned. Not only because they are given without merit, but also because the person granting the favor has determined it to be free. A calculated favor is not a favor, but a bargaining tool. To repay a freely given favor in any way is an over payment and at best abolishes our debt to love one another and at worst lords the other person’s debt to us over his or her head. Favor’s only appropriate repayment is acceptance.

Second, there is no way to calculate the objective value of a favor. Who determines fair compensation for a task that had been freely given? Would it be based on the cost of time, energy, expertise, and resources, or would it be based on the value of the favor to the recipient? Commerce differs from favor in that both people settle on the lowest acceptable value for a transaction, which is not necessarily the most equitable price. Favor differs from commerce in that usually only one person is concerned about the equitable price and it is not the one granting the favor.

Third, the attempt to repay a favor could insult the other person’s desire, or hinder the other person’s need to, put someone else’s concerns above his or her own.

Favor trumps commerce. If someone decides to do something for free, it cannot be repaid. Commerce is dependent upon transactions. Favors are not dependent upon transactions. Commerce cannot exist in the presence of favor.

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